After my last blog, I received multiple requests to write a blog to compare The Presence Process from Michael Brown and The Completion Process from Teal. I have found Michael Brown’s work remarkable and complementary to Teal’s and would recommend it to everyone but obviously only people that have not studied or read both works would think the processes are the same. But yesterday morning, a couple of friends directed me to read Teal’s ex-husband (Sarbdeep Swan’s) new vindictive blog. It was then that I realized that it is more important to look at the person creating the distorted information rather than at the information itself. In the same way that a little bit of research on the Nithyananda cult discredits any attack coming from him and his followers, the same can be said of Sarbdeep Swan.
I first met Sarbdeep in January 2014 in Park City during the Sundance Film Festival. I had a business trip in Utah for fund-raising and thought I would try to meet with Teal, this extraordinary YouTube spiritual teacher who was wise beyond her years. By chance (or turn of destiny) my invitation got accepted at the last minute. I had invited them to the Good Karma restaurant in Park City and I still remember to this day the trepidation I had waiting for her in the restaurant, feeling intuitively that this meeting would change my life.
Well, as you can probably guess, this hunch has proved truer that I would have ever imagined. When Teal came in, I was light-struck by her grace, beauty and magnetism. Sarbdeep and Blake were also present. While Sarbdeep was a bit tense and quiet, he was cordial with me that evening, and it felt like we all had a good connection. We then went downtown to enjoy the Sundance madness. However Teal quickly felt tired. The crowds were draining her energy because of her extrasensory gifts. While Sarbdeep brought her back home, Blake and I ended up staying in town a bit longer.
That year, I saw Teal only two more times. I took advantage of an international business trip to India and Europe to attend her London synchronization workshop in April. Our exchange there was limited to a quick friendly hug. Later that year, in November 2014, I took advantage of another business trip to Utah to visit with Teal & Sarbdeep. This time, I came with one of my colleagues and we had another pleasant evening with both of them. Teal felt comfortable enough to invite me for tea the following evening at her house. She made the remark at the time that Sarbdeep and I could not be more opposite from an energetic standpoint. I had some good conversation with Sarbdeep that evening and I felt that both of us were on friendly terms. I actually liked him at the time. He appeared grounded, smart and articulate. Later on, after Sarbdeep left Teal to fly home indefinitely to London and we started our love relationship, Teal confessed to me that Sarbdeep hated me from day one. According to her, I made him feel very insecure and she had a couple of bad fights with him just because she accepted our meetings and the occasional gift I would send. There was absolutely nothing going on between us at the time. I was simply one amongst the many acquaintances and friends that appreciate her work.
Sarbdeep would be passive aggressive before and after our meetings to punish her for these brief exchanges. However, when I met with him, nothing of this sort would transpire. Sarbdeep can pose for appearance and is a master of manipulation. Hopefully you can see this from the threatening, emotionally abusive and blackmailing e-mail that he send Teal out of the blue after 9 months of not talking to her…
Sent: Friday, September 9, 2016 7:56 AM
To: Teal Swan
I have been informed by a number of your ‘fans’ that gecko (his nickname for me) has been spreading the lie that myself and his ex wife have been been sleeping together. (He did actually develop a relationship with my ex wife after he discovered that we were together and fed her information for my ex wife to use in custody court regarding my 2 children against Teal).
Black Swan (his nickname for Teal), you are going to write a blog before the end of this weekend saying that he has been telling this lie and you will say that it is impossible as we live in different countries and have not ever even met. Do not refer to me by name, refer to me as your ‘ex husband’. You will also be authentic and inform the public that you have used Michael Brown’s book The Presence Process for your own healing and journey…….You can thank gecko for putting you in this predicament.
If you do not put this blog up by sunday, informing of these two points, I will do it and I will add some other details, information and facts about you both. Expect a series of blogs uncovering your lies, half truths, manipulations, exaggerations and embellishments, all backed up with proof and evidence. The public have been begging me to continue and I’m on the cusp of going to war with you. Tell that little squirt, man-boy gecko I’m ready for a war at any time….you people don’t stand a chance, and you know it.
There are other things I am aware of, but I will leave these for later, depending on how you handle this.
I was about to take my blog down, but these lies will now be cleared up.
Myself and ‘J’ (His friend John, who is a professional hit man) are planning to see you in the UK at the end of the year to straighten some things out now, don’t bother being discreet it will take us 15 mins to locate you, wherever you are.
Take me off all your clips or email those that are not linked directly on your site. Either entirely edit my image AND my voice out or take the clips down. If you don’t I will be seeking compensation and damages for using my image and my voice without my permission, and expect a very public response.
I do not want to be associated with your fraudulent ‘teachings’ and your vulgar and trashy public image.
When all is done, we will reconnect and complete any final business. You will at some point wake up to the fact that gecko is the reincarnation of Doc, the unhealed obsessive. When you get to that point, if you want to speak, the door will be open for you and for the truth of your soul.
Don’t bother with a response.
I am relating these events so that you understand that while he is attempting to project the appearance of someone straightforward, reasonable and trustworthy, this is unfortunately all posture and a façade. You need to take the insulting information coming from him with a grain of salt.
Let’s go back in time. To November 2013. Teal’s career as a spiritual teacher started growing so fast that she had accepted a request to speak overseas in Europe. This was her first international speaking engagement. Blake who was going for the first time to Europe and who was not really aware of the cost of living in London booked a hotel in one of the worst parts of town. Once they arrived, Teal was sent into a panic attack by the thought forms present in hotel (imprints of prostitutes and abuse) while already disoriented by being in a foreign land. Her deepest fears coming from her childhood were triggered. They had to find another place to stay.
Later, she was introduced to her bodyguard, a handsome British man of Sikh origin and she felt attached to him instantly. By some twist of fate, he shared the same birthday as both of her two previous husbands: August 29th. This was the perfect storm. To his credit, Sarbdeep is an exemplary personal assistant and has worked with some top British politicians and the pop star Madonna. He knows exactly what to do for a celebrity to focus on their job and to not be distracted. During his relationship with Teal, he excelled at preventing triggers and dangers before they showed-up. He knew how to make her feel safe physically and was very attentive to her boundaries relative to other people. Coming from a very abusive family background, he developed the sixth sense that helped him stay alive as a kid and positively turned it into a professional career. Unfortunately, Sarbdeep was excellent at keeping Teal safe from everyone except from himself…
Within two weeks, Teal brought Sarbdeep to the United States. He did not have a job at the time so both of them were free to experience their passion freely. While their infatuation for each other was real, they quickly got married for a number of reasons. One of them was that Sarbdeep was British and needed to get the paperwork to stay permanently in the US as long as his new wife was there. He felt that the personal assistant work he had been doing so far was beneath him, and he often spoke about wanting to get into politics and get into a leadership role. Teal decided to start a YouTube series called “Tea Time with Teal” in which Sarbdeep co-hosted. Many of these videos shared excellent content but they have unfortunately been removed from the web at his demand after the break-up as her threatened to sue her if they stayed up.
One of their biggest struggles as a couple was around the concept of privacy and openness. In my experience, people who are obsessed about privacy are the ones that are fixated by the image they want to project onto others. If you re-read Sarbdeep’s accusations towards me, you will see exactly what he in fact did and intends to do with Teal. It is a deep insecurity that is fueled by a personal sense of inadequacy, and it manifests into the desire to control all the information going to the public. With Teal leading a movement on authenticity, these two could not have been more incompatible.
Sarbdeep’s suspicion and jealousy has always been intense. Two weeks into their relationship, Sarbdeep secretly got into Teal’s e-mail account and saw an email exchange between Teal and one of her former boyfriends where she offered him closure and an indication of being on good terms. While the email did not indicate any form of infidelity, Sarbdeep deemed it inappropriate and withdrew from the marriage, distrusting her yet never confronting her about it until he had left the country over a year later. It was then that he began to look at her every move through the lens of ‘infidelity’. He demanded that she stop wearing provocative clothing and stop smiling at other men.
In astrological terms, both Teal and I have our moon in Aquarius so our love energy is naturally quite diffused which is a nightmare for insecure partners. As Teal explained in a previous blog, she is emotionally polyamorous meaning she needs to experience emotional intimacy with multiple friends but she is definitely monogamous sexually and romantically. To my surprise, she is actually more conservative than I am. She has been a serial monogamist since she escaped the cult and she has one of the healthiest attitude towards sex that I have experienced. This came to me as a surprise too considering the amount of sexual abuse she experienced as a child and teenager.
The fact is that Teal is an extremely attractive woman and there are thousands of men out there in love with her. There is not a week in our life where she does not receive a deep passionate love letter from an admirer or an ex from her past or a new pretender trying to win her heart. You can understand that this type of situation would be an utter nightmare for someone who is as insecure or as jealous as Sarbdeep. Compounded with an ultra sensitivity for danger, Sarbdeep was always on alert with Teal and this pressure was too much from him. As a result, he decided he knew what was best for her and tried to build a cage to isolate her where he felt he could keep her from the world. However he was in fact trying to keep himself safe from his own insecurities.
Since she was 19, Teal’s own sense of safety had been guaranteed by her small intentional community composed of long time and loyal friends such as Blake. Sarbdeep made every effort to discredit all these members to Teal so that she would leave them behind. Sarbdeep’s fantasy was to make Teal an immense success on the world stage as a spiritual teacher. To him, all of her friendships were impediments to that goal. She fought hard to preserve this boundary. She felt intuitively that if she let go of her inner circle, Sarbdeep would just switch his focus to something else that she would have to change about herself to be treated well by him. Fortunately, she held strong at the time and was able to keep both Blake and Mark in the house.
Sarbdeep has been spreading the rumor that Teal had been cheating on him with me during the course of their relationship. Something most people do not know is that when Sarbdeep left, he did not tell Teal whether or not there was hope for the marriage. For three months after Sarbdeep left, he barely communicated with her and left her on a hook until he eventually said “I cannot ever commit to you”. He gave no reason for this behavior at all until 9 months had passed (after Teal and I had already begun dating). He then told her the entire reason he shut down in the relationship and withdrew into his avoidant attachment style was because he could not trust Teal to be faithful. How would that be possible when he was with her every single minute of every day until their break-up when he abandoned her to retreat back to London instead of fighting to improve the relationship? I guess fidelity does not mean the same thing to one person as to the next. It sure as hell doesn’t mean the same thing for the British and for the French. Where I come from, it means not sleeping with anyone while you are in a committed relationship.
Teal’s videos are often inspired from her personal life and struggles. From this standpoint, you can easily see if I am in trouble by the title of her videos 😉 For example, when she released a video on attunement, it is because she was frustrated with my “bubble”. When you are married to Teal, there is no choice but to constantly work on yourself. It works with a self-improvement junkie like me but it can be very intimidating for most men as there is really nowhere to hide. The most problematic part is that she is right 99% (she would say 100%) of the time!
I remember the first time, early in the relationship, when she mirrored an unconscious part of me. I was terrorized at the idea of being vulnerable with her. I was afraid she may use it against me or leave me because I was not good enough for her. I decided to let go because I could not hide from her anyway. She was actually very supportive to my surprise and it was so different from what I experienced in previous relationships. Overtime I have learned to relax, not resist and just do the work knowing she is always there for me. Resisting is pointless. As such, the last 15 months have been the most amazing journey though it is not for the faint of heart. All of my shadows are exposed one by one.
As Teal’s partner, if you are not quick enough to work on your shadows, they end up on the weekly AskTeal video. As you can see, this would be hellish for someone so preoccupied with privacy and appearance. However from the looks of it, Sarbdeep has now overcome his resistance around privacy as he has started a blog to denigrate and ‘expose’ Teal.
In early 2015, Teal released a video on overcoming porn addiction (which was then reposted in October 2015 by Blake who needed to change one picture at the request of a viewer). This episode related to Sarbdeep’s personal challenge. Because of the trauma originating from his childhood, he developed a suppressed hatred for women in general. His sexual fantasies revolved around objectifying women, submitting them, using them sexually then disposing of them. You can imagine the damage this would do to a woman he is in a relationship with. Some months before the relationship ended, he stopped all sexual contact with Teal saying to her “I can’t be turned on by you because you’ve been touched by too many men, it’s like no one wants to wear used clothing.” Can you imagine the true character it takes to say that to a woman who has been sexually abused?
If we go back to Teal’s videos around that time, you in fact have a window into their relationship. The Zebra and The Watering Hole was her personal encouragement to meet her own needs instead of dying emotionally in the desert of her relationship. If you can’t tell from the way he has responded post-breakup, Sarbdeep was the most emotionally abusive man that Teal had ever had a relationship with in her adult life.
Sarbdeep has one thing in mind – to either control Teal or destroy her. It is a common pattern in abusive relationships, which is what the relationship was. I, personally cannot believe that people don’t immediately see that from what he is doing now publicly to try to destroy her. Also, both husbands that Teal had previous to Sarbdeep (as well as myself as her current husband), have a completely different opinion of Teal that he does. Mark for example says openly that Teal is one of his favorite people walking the planet and that she is still one of his best friends. So much of what Sarbdeep says about her is simply a flat out lie. When people ‘resonate’ with Blogs like Sarbdeep’s that are designed to completely demolish someone’s public image, they rarely consider that many people, who are equally qualified if not more qualified to speak to Teal’s actual character, do not agree with what he has said about her at all.
A relationship expert once said that it takes three ingredients for a successful marriage. First, people have to be in love. Secondly, they need to be compatible and thirdly, they need to have access to tools that allow them to face the inevitable challenges in the relationship. It is upsetting to me that Sarbdeep can’t just be an adult and admit to that and take that knowledge about how critical compatibility and commitment are into his next relationship.
Despite all the relationship struggles they experienced together, Teal never ceased to be committed. She even honored the three-month wait after he abandoned her by going back to England. I can even attest to this personally because when I, myself wrote Teal a love letter professing my love, she wrote me back telling me that she was going to give her relationship everything she could until there was no more hope. I don’t know everything about Sarbdeep was but I was raised to understand that abandoning a woman for a foreign country and expecting her to stay indefinitely committed to him in his absence OR to change herself completely so that the relationship can resume on his terms… is abuse instead of love.
I am a proponent in society of reciprocity in relationship. We should start all relationships with a positive demeanor and work on conflict resolution when problems emerge. However when you are faced with individuals that are clearly antagonistic and are completely lost in their own control drama and whose sole goal is to hurt people around them, one cannot simply turn the other cheek. If we had followed this advice during the Second World War, we would all be speaking German today. A lot of spiritual people are so afraid of negativity that they are ready to accept the intolerable and make it OK to avoid a fight.
It is not OK for anyone to disparage my wife and my friends publicly, unfairly and untruthfully. As part of the divine masculine, we men are supposed to be protectors too and fight for what is fair and just. Among Teal’s followers today, there are a lot of people who have been victims. Many of these people were often more traumatized by the fact that there was no one there to protect them after the initial assault and that their own family and friends would abandon them. How many women victims of rape have been humiliated and discredited after they went to the authorities to look for justice? This coward like attitude that is so rampant in our society is the reason why psychopaths and murderers like Doc are still free and continue to commit their heinous acts.
A couple of years ago, I went to a holotropic breathwork workshop. A woman in the room was able to fully re-experience the pain of being raped as a teenager and was yelling her lungs out. This put me in a trance and I relived a past life where my daughter had been raped but instead of being supportive of her, I was instead angry at her for the shame and dishonor she was bringing to the family. Only as an old man, did I realize that the damage I had done to her was actually worse to her rapist and I was burdened at the time by guilt, pain and regret.
As you know, falling in love is as much about the attraction of the dark between two individuals as it is about the attraction of the light. Me and Sarbdeep are no different there with our relationship with Teal. As Teal previously mentioned in her blog, she has a tendency to look subconsciously for a mate that mirrors the male figures that had the most impact in her childhood, basically Dad and Doc in order to bring resolution and healing.
I understand that Sarbdeep has called me the “reincarnation of Doc”, “The unhealed obsessive” and I am about to show you it is a complete projection of Sarbdeep himself. Sarbdeep is not psychopathic like Doc but can definitely be dangerous when consumed by rage or jealousy. Both Doc and Sarbdeep have an inflated ego and are obsessed by narcissistic control over the person they wish to control. When Teal escaped, Doc was so sure that his programs worked that he was convinced that Teal would eventually “come home” to him. In the same way, when Sarbdeep left to England in March 2015, he was convinced that Teal could not live without him and would have no choice but to leave her intentional community, comply to his opinion about what is best for her and come to him in London. During their relationship, Sarbdeep had no problem using Teal’s triggers and PTSD as “hooks” to secure her dependency on him. Hooks he used yet again in the e-mail he sent to terrify her this last week. He even grabbed her and threw her onto a bed and left her alone so he could take a shower in the middle of a dissociative seizure because he was so sick of dealing with her condition. Another member of the community personally witnessed this. When they broke up, Teal was completely devastated. She dropped to 97 pounds. But she did not submit to Sarbdeep’s controlling, emotionally abusive manipulation tactics thanks to the support of Blake, Graciela and Mark. During their relationship, Sarbdeep was frequently shaming her, stating she was an embarrassment and that only he could make something out of her. He put himself in a position of power that she would be lost without him and that not one person out of her entourage was qualified to protect her. None of us that were watching her videos during this time could have even imagined what was going on behind closed doors because, like Doc, Sarbdeep is so good at posing as an esteemed and respected member of society. And because unlike Sarbdeep, after their breakup, Teal took the high road by NOT publicly exposing what he was actually doing to her.
Despite the reality of what really went on in Sarbdeep and Teal’s relationship, she has kept their “pact” to not go public to discredit each other. Sarbdeep had failed to honor this promise when he started to release his vindictive blogs.
We have the tendency to think that we are the ones saving the day, when in fact we are actually the villain. Sarbdeep says that I am the “reincarnation of Doc”. Re-read the email he sent Teal at the beginning of this blog and his blogs about Teal and you can decide who you think the reincarnation of Doc in Teal’s life really is.
I want to help Teal heal this aspect of trauma that is the result of not being defended by her Dad against Doc as a child. Blake, Mark and I all share this character aspect of her dad. We are the good guys that want to please everyone and as a result may lack the backbone at times to stand for her. We have the tendency to make OK what is not OK so as to avoid making waves. We can minimize a serious situation in order to not experience the discomfort related to adversity. We can be un-attuned and as a result miss all the warning signs and as a result bring our loved ones into a shark’s lagoon. We men, need to re-own our protector side and stand for our women.
As Sarbdeep is now fully endorsing the authenticity movement, I am sure he will have no problem sharing with everyone that after they broke up, he demanded to receive 15% of the royalties of her upcoming book The Completion Process while he never contributed financially to the household (in fact, Teal was giving him a monthly allowance). This was an interesting request from someone that is now claiming that her book is a full plagiarism.
Shortly after Teal and I started our relationship in June of 2015, he reconnected with her after months of utter silence (he knew her fear of isolation was a hook) as he had heard rumors she was in a new relationship. She was deeply bothered by her conversations with him, in which he was super abusive. I sent him an email asking to skype him so that both Teal and him could eventually develop a friendship in a similar way that she had done with Mark previously. He ignored me completely but instead sent her an email about me on July 27th, 2015:
“I am genuinely concerned for you and for your work should you pursue this course of action with Ale. All the signs physical and non-physical are not in favor of this. He has no integrity and no morality, and is deceitful with EVERYONE in his life. Multiple infidelities with his wife, while at the same time telling you he loved you, in a sense he has already cheated on you. Being ‘friendly’ with myself and Blake and getting involved with your workshops solely to get to you. Cheating on the ones he was cheating with, lying to his company board members and management about the shares he gave you. Who is he honest with??
His company is part of the Big Pharma and Bio Technology market, and are a part of the very machinery you so despise and have dedicated your life to fighting. Nestle – Famous for the ‘Breast Milk Scandal’ in poor and 3rd world countries. They are privatizing all the water in the world and have famously said – ‘Clean drinking water is not a human right’. The biotechnology companies, creating GMO’s and vaccines. His work may not be directly involved with these but he is a part of the machinery of this system and by owning shares in his company, you are a part of this machinery to, in essence you have crossed over to the other side.
He is corrupt and that is infecting you now slowly..all the money used to pay for the gifts he bought you and are probably planning your life with him is earnt from this corruption. Stuart wrote an article about these companies before he died and called them ‘Satans Army’ – he’d be turning in his grave.
He is also working his way into your work and your company ‘taking responsiblity for you in accordance with masculine tradition’ as you said in a previous email is not pure – it is about control, he seeks to control and possess you. Getting in will be easy, getting out of the relationship will be difficult. He is a SOCIOPATH, just out of curiosity google the traits and see how many traits he has. He will make Fallon seem like walk in the park. When things turn with him, they will turn very bad – he has the deviousness and patience to cause some very real problems.
Everyone is against this and I mean EVERYONE.”
If you love what Sarbdeep has to say about Teal, then you have no commitment to the truth about Teal. You simply want validation for the negative emotion that you, yourself feel towards her already and want to be justified for feeling this way. But for anyone who is sitting on the fence about Teal, know this: I have now been with this magnificent woman called Teal longer than Sarbdeep was with her. I fully understand why he cannot get over Teal. Before Teal, I did not understand what love really meant. This woman has such capacity for love, such sensitivity and passion that she would make every love relationship after her unpalatable.
There is no guarantee that I may not end up in the same misery as Sarbdeep is in, in the future. But the difference between Sarbdeep and me is that I understand how lucky and fortunate I am. And I will fight for her love as long as I can make this next breath. I understand she is this beautiful bird that needs be free and spread her large wings, and I trust God that she will want to come back to me over and over again. If I treat her right and never take her for granted. She was never interested to stay in a cage and cannot be constrained.
Who is Sarbdeep trying to fool when he says “I have been hoping not to publish this blog, but I knew deep within me that I would eventually have to present it to the world.”? The zealous that spread defamation and hatred to “save the world” are the most dangerous people on the planet. Please do not join the growing ranks of radicals and fanatics that are making our world more and more unsafe. Go in peace. People who are paying any attention, see in Sarbdeep a jealous man driven by revenge and not a righteous man concerned for the victims of an imaginary perpetrator.
Sarbdeep, I beg you to stop wasting your time and precious energy and start using your own gifts to make this world a better place. Teal loved you fully when she was with you, and fought with everything she had to make your relationship work. All of the people who knew you both when you were together corroborate this reality. So why do you need to drag her into your mud? You are the one that needs help so stop focusing on us and move on with your life. Teal and I have a loving relationship and we do not need you to save us, our friends or our community. We both wished instead that you could have been one of those friends.
It is not ok that you vilified Graciela in your last blog. I understand that the term “personal maid” or “domestic worker” disgusts you because this is what many British snobs called you when you exercised your position as a personal assistant. From my perspective, all professions are respectable. In fact, Graciela recently resigned from her position as homemaker to focus on her true passion and gift, which is emotional caretaking. We have attracted a wonderful new woman to replace her and it feels a win-win on both sides. Are you actually experiencing pleasure denigrating and putting down others?
I would like to finish this blog with a quotation from Martin Niemöller
“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
This is why it is so critical to stand for one another in our community.
Also, I am offering to remove this public blog if Sarbdeep reinstates his pact of non disparagement in the public with Teal by removing both of his slanderous blogs about Teal. Also, I will be happy to debate publicly over Skype with Sarbdeep with a neutral moderator to work out these issues one for all if he is not afraid of it.